SLEEP, WORK, SCHOOL

MAN! i fell so tired and sleepy na yet i cant even close my eyes for a while because i really have to finish this nah(thesis).. im happy and excited.. but i feel so tired nah .. konti nlng toh .. Wednesday will be the judgement day(Oral Defense) after that im a free man again. after this im planning to get a long vacation( in my mind) hahah .. im planning to go out(mall and eat a lot and drink alot of pineapple and watch movies! and maybe get my hair rebonded) i have a lot of plans i just hope i have the finances to back it up.. haahahah o well time and time again i have experienced God's provision and favor so im not worrid at all.. i know at the end of this i will be victorious... :D

To our Adviser Ms. Everly Chua i thank you for parting us with your knowledge, for handling us the best way you can and making us feel that we are secured in your guidance.

To my thesis mates i thank you for the support understanding and consideration that you have graced me with, i thank you all! My prayer that the lesson we learn in our project will not just stay as a lesson but will also affect our lives in a manner that pleases the Lord. i know deep in my heart that you too feel that sometimes we sacrifices God just for our lives to be ore convenient.

To my WILDfire family i thank you for your prayers, encouragement and love, in your simple ways i find myself having strength and power to go on and move forward.

To everyone, God bless us all!To God be the Glory!:D

Fight to the FINISH

its hard to fight if your just weak. its run to run when you get so tired easily. this past days i found myself:

1. affected

2. jealous

3. struggling

4. confused

i though i had it all figured out, i though i was sure already then suddenly she came back, back inside my heart. she suddenly broke through the closed doors of my heart. suddenly my eyes turned at her and every time i am with her i feel so weak, i wanna hug her, hold her hand and tell her "i think your the one" yet i cant because i know this is not the perfect time to be in a relationship. every time i hear her say things about me my heart beats faster and faster, i wanna explode in joy and shout "if you only knew how i feel right now!" but i cant.

right now i see her especially when i close my eyes, just the way she cares for me makes me weak and more in love with her. i don't know if we are meant to be, but as of now "you make me weak".

you looked great today. you were so beautiful, so beautiful that i almost kissed you!...

this is makes me wanna explode, i blogged this just so i could have an outlet because its hard to keep this for myself.. man!

i pray that the end of our lives we both find our "one".

Expressions

Right now I feel something that has been hiding for quite a while, I feel attraction. I miss her which is really odd I thought that it was finished between us, but before I knew it I find myself getting affected when she tell stories of guys getting attracted at her. I'm still confused i thought I was sure about my feelings, but now I find myself being wrong. Truly nothing is certain in this world. Now I put my trust in God that in His time I will find the one, my one.

UNFATHOMABLE LOVE

Truly God's LOVE is unfathomable, everyday I am blessed to experience grace. I'm merely an ordinary person holding on to and EXTRAORDINARY LOVE that my GOD gifted me. I am not just the only one invited in this eternal love, everyone who is willing to take that step of faith is welcome. Surrender is the way, the only way to experience God, to truly experience the the unfailing, everliving, everlasting love that God has. I am not perfect, as a matter of fact just like Paul, i consider myself a the worst sinner(Public Sinner #1) yet the promise of love states that "even if your sins are like scarlet, I will wash you as white as snow". right now I wanna cry because I just experienced again that my righteousness has no value, because my righteousness is a lie(I was never once and never will be a righteous) I only borrow JESUS CHRIST's righteousness. Through him I find forgiveness, peace and trust.

FATHER AND SUN

latest render of thesis: THE CROSS

WAITING

All I can do is wait on the Lord. I still don't know what to PRAY about this Saturday, my knees are shaking. I am so nervous I wanna call it time out, but God told me that it's a privilege to be there and it's for HIS GREATER GLORY.

So here I am waiting, waiting for HIM.

AMAZED IN AWE

I can believe what just happened, I was still enjoying the blessing when all of a sudden a new struck me, not a bad news, but a news that made me shake. All of a sudden my dad(Ptr. RU) told me this words "john, kaw na ang head ng tech(pertaining to k.tim's current job) tang lugar ng tim, palitan mune. Paksabyan na naka kanyan dada." aww thats what i said to myself, i froze and God told me again that this is what I asked for, to be with Ptr. ANTHONY.. o my!! then God told me that the journey is not far i will be in the place of Ptr.Anthony's G12..

All of this happened in my first day, my first day in the G12 of Ptr.RU, how overwhelming can that be??It cant get any better than that.. :D

Now i stand here in my place and just in awe at what God is doing in my life. Glory to HIM and to HIM alone.

Phrase of the day:

"The deepest desires of your heart are God's SPECIALTY"

OFFICIALLY PROMISE FULFILLED

I am sitting at home reminiscing what happen still i cant believe that i am now a G12 member, i cant believe that the promise was fulfilled by God at the most exiting and most perfect time in my life.

It was an amazing and humbling experience to be where I am now, because I personally do not deserve where I am. Credentials wise I am suppose to be nobody but because of God's GRACE and MERCY I am where I was destined to be. But i believe this is not the end, its just the beginning of something. This is not yet my promised land, my CANAAN, this is just a stepping stone to a more bigger picture that God has planned for me.

Now I look forward even more at what God has planned for me, for he said in his word:

"That is what the Scriptures mean when they say,

“No eye has seen, no ear has heard,
and no mind has imagined
what God has prepared

for those who love him.”

Corinthians 2:9 (New Living Translation)

Now here I am in the place of undeserved GRACE and I am in awe at what God is doing in my life. I am looking ahead not planning but waiting, waiting on all the promises of God.

I close this blog by saying "God is not good because you are good but God is good because he is GOD."

i wanna blog

gusto ko magblog ksu nkaktamad . .wahahha

may 27, 2010(DAY1)

day 1: PENIEL

8am in the morning when got off. as we were riding rjay's car i suddenly felf dizzy the kind that i hate, the kind that makes me vomit and the kind that almost killed me(yuo killed). going to peniel tarlac i was so dizzy ang i tried to get ome shut eye, guess what i succeeded. i woke up when we were here(PENIEL "the place to be!") haahaha . . well after some time we(ne, jo and jorge) went to work, setting up our things(the printing things) .. and when we were all settled guess what ?? the other end of the line was not there meaning the sanctuary pipol were not online. we waited until suddenly a beep!.... and there they were it was heaven! haahaha we were starting to work, work and work some more....hhhAJHAHAH,, then the first deligates were coming and we were

2 be continued . . .

MAT DA TANA MU ATA

grabi yah ing aldong ayni ala kung asabi.

sagad katawan

sagad utak

pati pa ing PUSU rugu mesagad yapa

bat pakanyan??marok kuba gewa??edka atinjan...aku ba ing megaliwa??ninanu??

solid!!!pramis solid!!!ala ku rugung agawa amu..

bisa kung paynawa ksu bat pknyan??eku nmn pweding pabren ini eh...

GRABI!!SOLID!!

i TOUCH

my 1st time to blog via my itouch. i must admit that im in a state of pagkabana!.. hahah o well its normal n "maniglo k" hahah. well thats about it, i just dropped ny to say hi to all of you. . ;)

Godbless you all. . :D



ps: im missing someone alot.

YOUTH CAMP

this is my very own effort to invite you guys to our youthcamp this coming may 27,28,29 2010. Hope to see you all there. Godbless you all. To God be the Glory.

KA REACT REACT SA MGA IBA

AS STRAW NOT

CHARACTERIZED

first ever maya render

CASE STUDY

here are my modeled finance office of the Holy Angel University. i had alot of fun modelling this.

SELF IS H NESS

selfishness , oh watta feeling .. i never thought i would be like this.. i dont want to box her and control her life,, but something in me is afraid that im loosing my place.. ones the top proirity is now a just a little higher than everyone else.. im so selfish i dont want to be. i feel like the world is taking her away. but then again who am i??what do i possess?? i just a mere man.. cant be everything she need(just like me, she is not everything i need). this may be the glitch in the system, the thing i have to work on, the attitude that is not from God..

at the end of my journey, i know i will be victorious. i was not born to loose i was born to be the GREATEST ME, that i can be. God is always here,, here beside me.. ;D

Phrase of the day:

"God gave us freedom so we can genuinely see how great he is."

fast and the FURIOUS

who am i to you??
you tell me im valuable yet u treat me like im not there..
like i dont feel a thing ..

who am i to you??
im not being selfish
im just hurting right now..
i dont care if im over reacting ..

I NEED TO SPEAK!
or il die becuase my blood pressure is of the chart..
im irritated by the fact that you dont even know what you did..

its like nothing happend..

i wanna shout ...AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

maybe i need to rest .. this is not good for my heart..

goodbye...(il be ok just give me time)

MY DEATH IS POSTPONED!

today was a great day for me i attended the church .. i did my ever so loved ministry.. i gave my all .. i went to cang's house(este houses) heheh . . i went back to ac with kyz got a big gulp of pineapple juice(that by the way spilled all over the table), got another big gulp of pineapple juice had a little chit chat and headed of home....

almost there, this was what i felt.. when suddenly something caught my eye, a commotion of some sort(that was just really nothing). Then sudden here we GO! a man entered the jeepney sat almost beside me(well there was only to passengers before the man entered, me and another guy).. i felt an awkwardness in the air a certain tension blowing.. suddenly a policeman said : "tipa ka ken(pertaining to the man that just entered)", repeatedly the policeman requested(and also commanded) the man to leave the vehicle. The man was hesitant(he was odd looking somewhat crazy) to vacate the vehicle, but after a while he obeyed the policeman, as he was about to leave he reached to his pocket and got a "balisong". Here was the moment i froze not knowing what to do. The policeman was aiming for the man and the man was still pointing his weapon to the policeman, all this time i was so afraid for the man, that he might be shot because of his stubbornness. The commotion ended when the man threw his knife and RAN!ran for his life.

A few moments later it was my stop. This is the place(Kanto ko na to). As i left the jeep tears were in my eyes for i realized " That was supposed to be DEATH ", but God the God that i serve SAVED me for my time was not yet, only HE yes only he knows whrn i will leave this earth. i will conclude this blog with a thought "If God ignored you right now, you will definitely be DEAD".

Phrase for the day:

"Only God is SOVEREIGN he is ALL POWERFUL and intimately IN LOVE with ALL OF US."

ONE GOOD DAY COMING UP!

here i am goodmorning( and i mean GOODMORNING!)hahah . i sense that my life is turning back again.. :D im beginning to feel that i everything is coming back into place. yesterday was a great dat in my life, i saw my children reconciling right in front of me.. it was filled with love(sheer love).. i saw my children beginning to be ok woth evryone..its not yet finished but im seing it happening..financialy we are recovering(THANK GOD!) and honestly im filled with the joy of the Lord and i feel so loved by THE ONE,. he never left me inpite of everything that happend to me.

today i declare will be great, will be amazing, and will never be the same! "I AM ALIVE!" and i will live like i am.. God gave me life and i will live it to the fullest . . :D im not yet there but im coming! im so exited and thrilled to walk into the world again.. the world where i live and the world where i will die..

Phrase of the day:

"you are you are. and you are who God made you to be."

IS IT ME??

i find myself today looking back on the things of the past.. on how good it was ,, on how peaceful it was.. how everything was doing great.. now a days i cant find anyrthing in my life that is going great .. and there is something happening to me that i find alarming . . a feeling of selfishness a feeling of fear of loosing someone a fear of being replaced in his life . . im afraid i feel like everything and everyone is being taken from me..

maybe its just me .. but this is how i feel now . .

im not that happy...

i want myself back..

PEACE is what i SEEK.

Goodnyt to all of you . .

Phrase of the day:

" its not about what do you its what HE has done for you."

ALONE

alone thats what i always feel now a days , why you ask?? simple because i cant hear God talking to me like before . . he was never this silent to me before. i did not understand the silence and frankly i did not appreciate it . but then just today God made me realized that God is till there even when he was silent. he was watching the very move i make, he saw the way i was hurting, he was there when i cried out, he was always there , he never left, its just he has to be silent so i can hear him even more,, so i will listen intently only to him.. God does not want you hurting or suffering sometimes you just have to feel alone so you will see that he was always there,,

Phrase of the day:

"God is always there not behind, not in front, but beside you. ALWAYS."

FIGHT THE GOOD FIGHT

here i am again.. whoo i havent really been in this situation .. im honestly having a hard time with this. i am talking to God about it .. yet i still find myself having the same feeling as her's .. im speaking my heart out . God help me in this.. a part of me wants to hurry up the time so i can be with her yet another half tell me maybe its not yet her.. i dont know wat to do i want to not see her but not seeing her makes me long for her. God help me focus on you the blesser and not the blessing.

Dear God im having a hard time with this,

i know u see me up there,

i dont know if your answer is no or not yet,

but i trust that you will give me the strength to fight,

you have given everything i need to fight,

now show me how to use it and give me the courage to fight,

dont let me think that this is good, i know its not,

beyond all of this God i thank you Lord i love you,

after all this, when this is over i will turn back,

and watch what you have done,

i will see only your glory Lord.

Phrase for the day:

" the right thing at the wrong time is still the wrong thing."

DAD, DADDY, DADEH, DADA, DADAI, ITAY, DADDYOW, DADY JOHN

dont call me dad

if you dont want my love

if you dont like dicipline

if you dont like my advise

if you dont like being with me

its not that true at all

PARA SA LAHAT NG PUTI.

PS: wag mo icpn nak kyzza its not you.. kau lahat.. ;D

how r you john?

what seems to be the problem?

what are you feeling right now?

how can i help?

do u want me to be there?

CHAOS of the TITAN

yesterday i found myself feeling something that i havent felt before in a long time. i said to myself " i was human again"(joking of course). since i started my manifesto i was never distracted, no not at all. i was so focused and determine to make my manifesto smooth sailing . but i was aiming for the unevitable. yesterday i foung myself struggling, i felt a feeling of affection for some1 dat is not not suppose to be felt yet. because i found myself enjoying the company of this someone. i felt a feeling of ownership on her part. i wanted the moment not to end, but then again it had to. i was happy i felt it not because i want to but because it showed me i was not "PERFECT" and i have my short comings. until now i feel a longingness in my heart(honestly dont know if i want it or not) but i wanna know what God wants to do in this situation of mine. im looking forward to what God is doing.

Phrase of the day:

if you dont see God , it doesnt mean he is not working.

CATCHING A MAYA

just drop by to upload my newest renders in AUTODESK MAYA ,, man im having such fun!! well her they are enjoy . . ;D

finding your funny bone

finding happiness amids a crumbling world is really hard but God said " i will make a way for you" and he has made it. Now i think im starting to be ok . .because of a friend who just out of the blue talked to me. she made me feel its not that bad. maybe its God way of saying "HOLD ON SON, its almost over . ." im happy that it happend. life is full of surprises and thats one . haha friend i thank you what you did changed my day. ;D

you are my funny bone today. . :D

Phrase for the day:

"GOD always gives you a way out.. just dont hurry up . . :D"

THE UNKNOWN

have you experienced waking up in the morning only to find yourself thinking of nothing ,, your brain has the capacity to think yet it has nothing to process. have you experienced that day?

today was that day, i woke up and my brain is in stationary mode. i tried doing things like, reading ,my bible, praying, watching television, meditating, watching movies and texting to encourage myself and to search for things that might just be worth doing, yet in spite of all this i still found myself doing nothing. nothing inspired me to do anything i was so confused and bothered at what is happening to me. until now im in that stage. what im feeling right now is so unknown to me . this was the first time i evr felt this. i find it bothering and alarming. because im the kind of person who goes out alot(not partying or drinking) just going out, im an outgoing person.

inspite of all this i still trust God that he is their watching me. he just wants to see how i react to this situation. he is always in control. i may not see it now, but what i know is that he is in control,

i thank you for listening to my plea and taking time to read this. i hope i did not discourage you. but i just want to be real and speak my heart out.

heres a statement that i realized:

when things are not going your way

when everything tells you to stop

when your day is not that great

when u think you are alone

when no one wants to talk and listen

when you think that God is not there anymore

be still . . .

be still . . .

be still and know that he is GOD.

2 face

today i was so happy to conduct my word(sermon for some) in our lifegroup (small group of people aiming to talk about God), it was amazing that God's message was so obvious to us all yet we are unaware of it. i pray that we may grow in familiarity in the voice of the Holy Spirit and may we get to know them more.

Phrase of the day:

"God allows trials for you to know HE is all you need."

in the midst of this joy and fun, i found myself sad, because i chose to go to our lifegroup though i really wanted to go somewhere else. it was a choice i had to make and i chose to go in our LG, i did not want to disapoint my daughter(anakanakan), i did everything i can but God was not allowing we. it hurts that i know she was sad and disappointed that i did not come to her graduation, she prepared everything expecting all of us(MGA PUTI) to come and there it was, nobody came, it hurts me to know my child is hurting, i dont know what to do or say. SORRY was the only word i can say but even the most sincere SORRY wont do the job. well maybe she may read this maybe not. but i say it again im sorry.

"the greatest time for GOD to show his power is only at your WEAKEST POINT"

goodnyt Godbless :D

My day by they.

April 22, 2010

today i woke up about 7am in the morning feeling dizzy(for 2 days now). I stood up, changed clothes(did not take a bath for lack of time cuz my class is 730am) and got off to school. Im always exited to go to school cuz its an amazing subject dat i attend. my animation class is so fun(even though i dont talk to my classmates alot) . The subject itself was the fun part.

here is a sample of what i did:

well its this for now. i will try to improve. hope to meet some of my fellow animators out there.

phrase for the day: dont do things if you dont realy want to, because the essence of doing is not there. :D

THE DAY MY EARTH STOOD STILL

Today i found myself staying home even though the day was great to spend outside. I was not feeling well i was experiencing dizziness beyond what i had experience before. Beyond all this God maid me realize something and that is "God is never not in control", in every situation, every circumstances, every moment "God is in CONTROL". This is my first time to blog again and im planning to make this a daily routine in my life to keep track of where i am.


Topic for the day.
BEING TRUE TO THE LORD
April 20, 2010

Being true to the Lord is an essential part of our walk with God. Pretension can never attract God in our lives. God is never please with hypocrites, he is always pleased with people who are true. That is why God is calling us into a intimate relationship with him(no pretension, no hiding, open and true)

Why be true to the Lord?

> he knows the real you and you can never hide it from him so there is no point in pretending to be someone your not.

> opening up to God delivers you from any situation you are in, it liberates you to this world of chaos and leads you to a place of peace and satisfaction.

> it makes your relationship with God more true and intimate (people you love knows everything about you)


nevertheless being true with God opens the door to healing, deliverance and salvation. He will never fail you in every circumstance in your life. He is powerful beyond your measure or any measure you can use. If you just let God be God in your life you will experience the REAL LIFE. The life with him is the greatest decision you can ever make, i know this because i experiencing it.


to anyone who reads this, here is my message for you:
God is always there ready to help, if you just stretch out your hand to him(FAITH), HE WILL NEVER FAIL YOU.

that's all for now, i enjoyed this post and I'm looking forward for more post to come.. :D
GODBLESS :D